It has only been recently that we have been grieving in a whole new way, the loss of Caleb’s twin that happened in the womb. It has been a special “God journey” for our family to say the least.
We “thought” our grieving process had been completed for the loss we endured close to 8 years ago, but we are learning that the emotions of one’s loss never leave completely. We have come to learn that grief has many faces. Those faces can change as the years roll by, but loss is NEVER forgotten.
Caleb turned 7 in October. We were never able to find out if his twin was another son for us or a daughter. We never learned why our baby got sick. We don’t know why his twin is not living here on earth with us…possibly sharing a room with Caleb, playing with him and Jessica. Caleb’s twin is called Jordan. Jordan was only recently named. We sought God on what name He would want for our child, just as we had done so for Caleb and also Jessica.
It was only this month that we sat down and shared with Caleb about Jordan and how Jordan got sick in Mummy’s tummy. The time had come to share with Caleb about him being a twin. It was hard. It was sad. It was special. It was bonding. It was a lesson on God still being GOD!
Caleb has such faith in God and we know that when God formed him in the womb and Jordan right next to him, that He was also preparing him for this night of sharing…for Caleb to learn the news of being a twin.
Jordan is a gender-neutral name. We love the significance it has in the history of Caleb and Joshua leading the Israelites across the Jordan River and into the Promised Land. Jesus was also baptised in the Jordan River.
We talk about Jordan a lot now. It is no secret. It is no shame. It is real and we talk about the joy it will be to one day meet Jordan in Heaven. Jordan is not sick any more and as Jessica likes to remind us….”Jordan all better now. Jordan in Heaven with God!”
Caleb has an ultrasound image in his bedroom of himself and Jordan. We are blessed that we were allowed the opportunity of that keepsake.
We would love your prayers as we continue to walk this journey of grieving as a family. We do find comfort to know that God is grieving with us and we are not alone. Please pray for Caleb as we follow God’s prompting in how to help him process all of this…Jessica also.